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The Last Straw – Setting Goals that change your life

What do you want in 2011?

At the start of a new year many people feel that call to go on an adventure to change something that had been waiting for a long time. This is the year I will start studying part time, lose that wait, write that book or even find Mr Right, make more money, get my own house…

This article will help you clarify that dream so that you can turn it into reality starting right now. Many people are content with just dreaming knowing it will never happen, but some of us are so tired of being where we are that we are willing to do something out of our comfort zones.

A Great Goal  is a visionary goal, one that is very specific, but may seem unrealistic and even impossible. Yet it creates a sense of urgency and pull like finding a treasure map in a bottle. It makes you want to start working on the change immediately and from the moment you discovered the promise of treasure something in the way you see your life has shifted. In other words it impacts the present moment.

Step one of your Present Success Story is to Get a Great Goal

Great Goals vs. Smart Goals

Most coaches will tell you that no success is possible without a smart goal. A SMART goal is Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Realistic and Time-oriented.

In 2008 when my second son was reaching his one year milestone, I got sick of being overweight. I set a SMART goal to get my own familiar body back. I would lose 8 kg’s by the 30th of April, my baby boy’s birthday, also the month we would be moving from Pietermaritzburg to Stellenbosch and start a new chapter in our lives.

Did I lose the weight with this goal? Well, yes and no. It is always more complicated in real life, isn’t it? I lost 6 kg’s by the deadline, but once we moved I gained most of it back due to a bitterly cold winter and the stress of the new life. It was not so realistic after all. It took me another 2 and a half years to get where I wanted to be, but I had to change my Smart Goal into a Great goal to do it.

Un like smart goals great goals take story and context into account.

Great  goals differ from Smart goals in 4 aspects: They are not actionable, not realistic and not time-oriented and they take story into account. They do not have the ART of SMART, but they are much more arty – much more creative..

Great Goals are not SMART.

When Shrek set off to get his swamp back, he did not know how or when he would get it done. When Cinderella started to dream about going to the ball her case seemed hopeless.. Even worse, when Little Red set off through the woods, she thought it was going to be easy…

A great goal for the beginning of your present success story needs to be

  1. Specific and measurable: so you can know what the focus of your action should be right now, but
  2. Not Actionable: you do not have to know how to do it and may very well need luck and a little magic to get it done
  3. Not Realistic: you need to think out the box and get out of your comfort zone so you must challenge what you think is possible
  4. Not Time oriented in the future: You cannot always know how long something will take, but your goal must impact your present moment and your actions right now.

Because Great Goals are context bound it also needs to be

5. Set off by a last straw experience. A story always starts with someone in a situation that has become intolerable

A Great Goal is inspired by the last straw

A Goal only becomes Great when it is infused by the energy of someone having reached a point of no return. You can toy with the idea of losing weight for years before something happens and you are ready to say: that’s it, no more.  The goal summarises a dream that you no longer want to put off.

Sometimes this is caused by a tragedy or life changing event, but you can also elect to make the change before tragedy strikes. Why wait to get lung cancer before you stop smoking? A good excuse for choosing to do something you have wanted for a long time is the start of a new year. What unfulfilled dream can you tackle this year without having to wait for the next crisis?

Start your new year by setting a Great Goal.

By following the 6 steps of a Present Success Story, you can set the ball rolling to make the change you know is needed. To help you remember all 6 steps I use the sentence: Get More Personal Success Authentically Today. The first letter of every word corresponds with the step relating to that letter. We start with the letter G: Get a Great Goal.

Note: Smart goals also have a very important role to play, but only around stage 5 as you get to know yourself and your adversaries.

If you want to get an overview of each stage over the next 10 weeks email me at petro@playingmantis.net

My own present success story for 2011: A Million a month to share

The personal success story I am working on presently is to change my finances around. My goal: To make a million a month to share. This is a shared goal between my husband Gerhi and myself.

I have no idea how or when to make this happen, but that is because I do not understand money well enough to make the sums and plan my strategy. But I am setting the goal precisely to inspire me to find out how money works, how business works and how to think about both. IT is a journey I am only just embarking on because I have reach my point of no return regarding two things: 1. Never having enough to be free of worry and running a business blindly with too little financial understanding. If you want to follow my story go to www.PetroJansevanVuuren.com.

If you want to get an overview of each stage over the next 10 weeks email me at petro@playingmantis.net

Come to one of our Present Success Story workshops

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Personal Success Story Notes

Designing a Personal Success Story for your life

One of the most powerful means for designing journeys of transformation lies in the structure of myth and story. Every story is designed so that the central character undergoes positive life change. Every other character and every event in the story works together for this purpose. In response to the transformation of the hero, his/her community and even the landscape undergo their own transformation also. It all starts with one person and his/her story.

With this in mind it becomes possible to use story structure as a way to look at your own life and see how it can help you to work with your own personal success.  Take a look at the diagram and table below as a starting point. Be mindful of the twighlight zones.

If you want to understand this better take a look at our 8 week face to face story course.

Classic story structure: diagram:

Every story has a beginning, a middle and an end, or Act one, Act Two and Act Three. Yet it is the transition between the acts that are the most interesting and fruitful for change and successful transformation of the main character.

Journey diagram
Journey diagram

Classic story structure:  table (to help you with your homework)

  • The five stages of classic story structure
  • The 6 steps for developing your personal success story.

Two of the stages are italicised. This indicates what I call a “twilight zone”. They are also indicated in the diagram. A twilight zone is a crucial stage for transformation and often is neglected or fumbled because of its complex and paradoxical nature. It is in handling these stages with care and confidence that will make your story successful and stand the test of time.The table shows:

Stages of a journey Steps of personal success story
1. Call to Adventure: Who is the protagonist and in what way is he stuck in his ordinary world with no way of changing it?What opportunity arises for him to change? 1. Get a Great GoalIn what way are you feeling stuck and frustrated? What opportunity do you have to change this?Set a goal that is realistic and actionable and helps you with knowing what to do now.
Preparation for the Journey:What fears do the hero need to overcome/ doubts does he need to settle?Who (mentor) helps him with this and with what (magic tool/weapon)?How does he show his commitment to the journey? 2. Manifest your Main MotivationWhat values drives your choices and which of these support your goal? Can you link it to your identity i.e. what you believe is true of you. What other desires clash with these values?
The journey:What tests and trials does he need to face and how does he plan to overcome them?Who are his friends and who are his enemies in facing his challenges? 3. Put together a Personalised PlanWhat are the most important obstacles in the way of your reaching your goal?What plan can you put in place to help you overcome them?  E.g. restructure your space and resources and identify small habits to replace old unwanted habits.
4. Set up Social Support systemsHow can you get your friends and family to support your goal?How can you eliminate or minimise contact with people who do not support you?
Ordeal and reward:What drives him to his near downfall? How does he face and overcome his nemesis?How does he become aware of the big picture? What immediate reward does he receive for his victory? 5. Achieve Authentic AwarenessThis step is almost impossible to design. It does not always hit when you expect it and it seldom works out how you planned. When you come to a very low uncertain place, you are close to it. Yet often you can dip far lower than that first low. Most importantly, when you are there, in anger or sadness and despair, listen for the still small voice of truth inside you that reminds you of the big picture.Reap the rewards of your perseverance, of reaching your goal even if it turns out so very different from the one you set in the first place What sacrifice do you need to make so that you can focus on what really matters?.
Return home:How does he cross back into his ordinary world? (usually some ritual involved or a chase)How does he prove his sacrifice/death regarding his old ways?What new response to old problems does he model?How does this embody an elixir that heals his community and his land? 6. Turn over and travel with the tide Ritualise your new behaviour so that it can become automatic. Now go through the actions as you have planned them, draw on your support system and keep behaving yourself to success simply following the current you have created. Beware of streams that pull you off course and fight back but let yourself settle in to a new normal.

You can join our 8 week face to face story course for a fun personal success story adventure!

For those of you who had joined one of our Personal Success Story workshops, here is a question to engage with in comments to this blog:

Share with one another what sacrifice you may have to make to reach success? In what way does this relate to the sacrifice your character had to make in the story?

Your success depends on your willingness to go on a journey and make sacrifices for what is truly important to you.